Priyanka Leaving

Before leaving Germany, Priyanka came to stay with me for a few days then headed back home in Delhi. We got up at the interface of night and dawn, moving all the heaviness downstairs and sent them away. Leonard Cohen’s Alexandra Leaving haunted me in the head when we were in silence. And somehow the song stays.

“Say good-bye to Alexandra leaving
Say good-bye to Alexandra lost”

Alexandra Leaving is adapted from “The God Abandons Anthony”, a poem by Constantine P. Cavafy. Cavafy’s poem is about Markus Antonius’s last night in Alexandria, Egypt, knowing that the city would be taken by his enemy. In Cavafy’s depiction Anthony heard music and accepted his defeat “as if long prepared, as if courageous” when abandoned by his protector Dionysus. Leonard Cohen rewrites Cavafy’s poem and turns the city Alexandria into a woman Alexandra.

A woman left, a city lost. Alexandra Leaving starts with “suddenly the night has grown colder”, but that is not the case with Priyanka leaving. The spring arrives right after she left and it becomes brighter and warmer. No tears shed at the airport and life goes on in both Delhi and Hamburg. In my room there is still Leonard Cohen playing and on my book shelf there is still William Stafford standing.

There is nothing lost but something gained. The genuine conversation is still present in the room. That’s why things are better.
“We should have done this earlier,” said Priyanka.
“Yeah we should but we wouldn’t. We would only do this when you are leaving. If you leave in May we’ll do this in May.” And we laughed.

After a cigarette outside the airport (guess who is the one smoking), we came back to the end of the queue before the security and that’s where the departure began. “I’ll write to you and you can reply in your relaxed way… now I know you.” I laughed and she left.

“As someone long prepared for this to happen,
Go firmly to the window. Drink it in.
Exquisite music. Alexandra laughing.
Your firm commitments tangible again.”

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